Meeting Minutes

Although I have not posted any meeting minutes for a while, 开会 is if anything more of a popular pastime in China than it ever was in the UK. Here are my notes from todays meeting…

Interesting fact: Samsung Phones english translation of chinese translation of bollocks came up with "Albanian Nonsense"

Interesting fact: Samsung Phones english translation of chinese translation of bollocks came up with “Albanian Nonsense”

Hedgehogs are mild creatures but even they can get angry when you waste their time.

Hedgehogs are mild creatures but even they can get angry when you waste their time.

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Happy Gin Day

It is a busy time, not only are there 90th birthday elebrations for the Queen, but also it is World Gin Day. This is good news, as Her Majesty likes a bit of Gin. Here is my recipe for a perfect Gin Martini :

60cl Gin

0cl Vermouth

Stir the Gin gently with ice and serve with as many olives as possible (and for a treat stuff them with blue cheese)

And to celebrate the Queens 90th, here is my birthday limerick dedicated to her…

A nonagenarian monarch from Windsor
Said “Knight I want a large gin sir”
He said “Isn’t it time for your bed?”
She said “Guards! Off with his head”
But due to the European convention on human rights enshrined into UK law, he got away with it

Happy Gin Day Brenda

Happy Gin Day Brenda

 

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Happy St George’s Day

st fonze2

To celebrate St George’s day why not relive the legendary tale by killing an endangered species just to impress a member of the royal family.

If you cannot find an endangered species make a dragon by traning a gecko in the art of firebreathing, then fight it to impress somene who is clearly in a better social class than you, you total utter pleb.

Hope you have a good one.

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Are stellar slugs responsible for many of the worlds problems?

I have noticed several things are in a state of decay and have been busily attempting to find a decent scientific explanation. I have some to the conclusion that the most likely explanation is that it is due to the existence of space slugs emitting a corrosive influence to everything that they come into contact with.

This alien slug has evolved to cover everything with her radioactive slime.

This alien slug has evolved to cover everything with her radioactive slime.

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Rams Showjumping

During the year of the horse it would be good if other animals took over a horses duty. Rams in particular enjoy a spot of showjumping.

Ram of the Year Show 2014

Ram of the Year Show 2014

Posted in Horses, New Years Resolutions 2014 | 1 Comment

Films losing their scariness

I can remember first watching Alien and thinking it was a scary film. Now (although I still like the film) it doesn’t seem to be as scary…  in fact the baby alien looks a bit cute and maybe if trained would make a good pet.

After a few viewings the famous scene in Alien looks a bit like this...

After a few viewings the famous scene in Alien looks a bit like this…

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Bar Etiquette

Last friday we were entertained by some impressive vomitting at our local bar. Particularly interesting was that the drunk person who had sprayed vomit over quite a large area then stood around until it was suggested quite forcefully (in pure Yorkshire) that he ought to get to the toilets before he made any more mess of our immediate surroundings… I did wonder though whether he might have just been trying to make friends with us but found the language barrier too much.

etiquette vom

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Today the English FA have now entered the realm of the paranormal where they now charge people involved in football not on what they say but the hidden meaning of the words. Instead of hiding this ESP based technology they ought to share it with the world. The fact that they do not I think brings the game of football into disrepute and as such the English FA should face charges.

The English FA (f** all when they need to do something).

The English FA (f** all when they need to do something).

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Year of the Horse

Every 12 years horses have a year off to celebrate their special year. This would normally be an issue as horses do so much for us but luckily other animals can step in and help out, there are other things to gamble on and we have invented the internal combustion engine.

Horse relaxing on beach

Horses love tequila sunrises. (Shake tequila, orange juice with ice cubes. Pur into a long glass, carefully add some grenadine. Serve with a beach and a hot summers day).

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The Dragon Snake

So another New Years Resolution completed (one out of the three). To celebrate here is a legless dragon limerick:

A dragon does not really need limbs

And if he heads to the sea and then swims

It helps build his muscles

Then he’ll win knightly tussles

And its cheaper than joining most gyms

Such dragons are often called sea serpents and tend to fight those knighted for services to the navy

 

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