To celebrate St George’s day why not relive the legendary tale by killing an endangered species just to impress a member of the royal family.
If you cannot find an endangered species make a dragon by traning a gecko in the art of firebreathing, then fight it to impress somene who is clearly in a better social class than you, you total utter pleb.
If you were born in the year of the rabbit then you really need to get some therapy to get your hormones under control. We all like a bit of friskiness every so often but there is such a thing as going too far. Put some ice on it and calm down by choosing a hobby such as embroidery.
According to legend a great banquet for the animals was held by god. The rat deceived the cat telling the cat that the banquet would be the day after. the cat overslept, missed the banquet and a place in the zodiac. However the tiger is part of the zodiac representing the cat family, although cats have been trying to sneak into the zodiac ever since…
People born in the year of the tiger are rare, and may find their genitals are useful for chinese medicine.
Am a bit behind in posting them however I am pleased to report I achieved one of this years new resolutions (Chinese Zodiac signs disguised as dragons). Shall post the last few over the next few days…
People born in the year of the rat* tend to carry life threatening plagues such as black death and Weil’s disease. there again they do work with scientists helping them find cures for all sorts of other diseases so on the whole they probably are good for health.
Apparently you are only ever 6 metres away from the nearest person born in the year of the rat. This makes the rat very much like f*****g Starbucks that seems like you are only ever 6 metres away from.
*approximately 1960 + 12n where n is an integer unless you are born in January maybe then you have to look in wikipedia the fount of all knowledge.
People born in the year following the year of the dragon are born in the year of the snake. Characteristics of such people are that they crawl around on their bellies and speak with a forked tongue (but contrary to popular belief they are not slimy).
Chinese New Year is fast approaching. I did wonder what year of the dragon was all about, I wondered if every 12 years China is visited by a plague of fire breathing lizards. This morning I think my suspicions were proved to be true when I woke up to find this at the end of my bed…