Last Lessons of July


there is a debate about the number of species of albatross. Anything from 13 to 24. If the 21 figure (the most common) is accepted then 19 of these are threatened with extinction.


I learnt a card trick that works using the power of mathematics (hence it is a bit duller than other card tricks I have learnt).


Dr House (House) was named as a homage to Sherlock Holmes (as Holmes sounds like Homes). both live at apartments number 221B. Both are also drug addicts.


I learnt a neat way of adding a textured fill using GIMP.


Scottish banknotes are technically not legal tender in Scotland. In fact in Scotland no banknotes are technically legal tender. The English banknotes are legal tender only in England and Wales. Also I learnt legal tender is a bit of a meaningless  term practically.


I learnt that a decaffeinated coffee in a local bar is actually instant despite it costing more than the caffeinated coffee. In fact within 2 coffees the jar has paid for itself! So dcaffeinated drinkers are penalised twice, once for not havving the point of coffee and another in being sold inferior coffee at a higher price!

More lessons to learn around the Maypole (10/5 – 16/5)


The axolotl never grows up and will not undergo metamosphosis in its natural state. However a cheeky iodine injection can make its balls drop and bring it into an adult form.


The Oxford English Dictionary since 1911 has incorrectly dephined a siphon as something that moves liquid using atmospheric pressure. (Gravity has been doing all the work and getting none of the credit).


Today was the first day that I could picture Nick Clegg in my mind, without needing to see a picture of him. More useful is probably the knowledge that Van Helsing’s first name was Abraham.


The RSPB was set up to protect the great crested grebe. Also parakeets have set up home and living in the UK wild and free from BNP politicians.


Nick Clegg once burnt a professor’s cacti when an exchange student in Germany at the age of 16 and had to do community service.


In cricket if the ball hits a helmet on the way to a boundary you score 5 runs only, you do not score 9 (5+4). I knew about the 5 runs but was not sure about whether like wides and no balls you would get a further 4. Also Boobby McFerrin’s voice is the only sound you here on a certain track of his, no instruments. So “Don’t worry, be happy”.


Until today England had never won an ICC world cup of any type. Now they have won one. I found out the name of the Schengen agreement, which is suprisingly the Schengen agreement. I also found out what Montgomery Glands are.

More April Lessons 19th – 25th

Monday – I learnt that there is a new organisation the YPLA (lets hear it for the YPLA! Young Persons Learning Agency) that replaces the LSC. Possibly the dullest lesson of the year so far, A toxophilite being an archery lover is a far more interesting fact.

Tuesday – It takes about 9 months to get to Mars and rockets need to leave the earth at a minimum speed of 17000mph

Wednesday – Franck Ribery has been accused of inappropiate activity with an inappropiately aged call girl – so it looks like he is Chelsea bound. Also if the voting in the general election makes the lib dems have the most votes, the conservatives 2nd and labour 3rd it will probably result in the reverse when it comes to seats (I think I suspected this anyway). Also nice guys outperform nasty guys in tasks (apart from women attracting possibly as they are often less exciting!)

Thursday – I learnt zebras arent good subjects for limericks due to the various pronouncitaions

Friday – Shakespeare may not have been born on St George’s day

Saturday – Robbie Savage was a trainee at Manchester United before moving to Crewe  Alexandra

Sunday – Reneee Walker will not be in any future series of 24. I am surprised that my addiction to finding out what happens before it does in a lot of tv series didn’t make me learn about her death earlier (i.e. I will read a spoiler if I come across one)

The first lessons of March

Monday – Cheating husbands are less intelligent than those that do not cheat. Ashley Cole, John Terry should take note you dirty dogs

Tuesday – Bambi was Austrian

Wednesday – Invertase is the enzyme used to make soft centres in sweets. Apparantly comes from yeast, or Saccharomyces cerevisiae as noone knows it by.

Thursday – A63 paper is hard to come by (as is A62). This is due in part to A63 paper being smaller than a single carbon atom

Friday – Edgar Dijkstra came up with the Bankers Algorithm

Saturday – In finger spelling the left hand is the vowels. Also Jurassic park was full of non Jurassic dinosaurs.

Sunday – Hush Puppy boxers should be washed at 30 C, the shortest gestation period of a mammal is 12-13 days (Virginian Opposum and Yapok). As if I had not learnt enough, I also found out that flour can be useful when making a cottage pie.