Monday – Hitler may well have had an IQ of about 141 (he probably had two balls too and certainly didnt keep one of them in the Albert Hall)
Tuesday – Casio GDC (Graphic Display Calculators) can now give their answers in exact form just to wind up physics departments. Also the scientific calculators will now do prime factor decomposition which will make gcse maths even easier to pass and will therefore result in the collapse of civilisation as the Daily Mail and old people gang up to moan about the fact that the youth of today dont go through all the pain they did… they fought a damn war you know.
Wednesday – Depictions of the last supper in 52 paintings over the last 1000 years have shown an increase in the size of portions suggesting that we are eating more. Also today learnt the Wurzels are prepared to make political comment, on the day that cider got taxed more heavily by someone called Darling (a bit of a girls name), they said “We have to tighten the string on our trousers, but we must admit that having to cut down on this local favourite leaves us feeling that we are being unfairly penalised.”
Thursday – Paintball paint is made from the same stuff found in cough syrup (presumably not the medical ingredients just the liquid stuff it’s dissolved in)
Friday – A 3:1 ratio of self rasing flour and a pinch of salt is enough to create soda bread
Saturday -Learnt the meaning of the bubble in poker (usually merrily win without bothering with too much of the jargon)
Sunday – South Park’s 200th episode will be first shown on April 14th and probably two days later in the UK