Categories
Limerick

It’s Oscar Night Again

Its my annual rant about the Oscars, its not news, its probably about as corrupt as FIFA world cup decisions and I can make my own mind up about what is a good film. And the statue really doesn’t look all that good.

Its the time for award ceremonies
So that actors can be pompous with ease
As everyone they thank
Who created their celluloid wank
That’s schmoozed best in their attempt to please
Categories
Limerick

Toilet Update

The upstairs toilet leaked from a crossthread,
Which meant long trips at night for me from my bed,
But its a better summer,
After out came a plumber,
And our life is now better it must be said.
Categories
Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

I F Hell (Institute For Learning aka Institute For Who Knows What?)

FE college staff have been informed that we must pay £68 for some sort of protection racket called the IFL. When pay freezes are the norm this group of clowns think that they should charge £68 up from £30. Benefits to us include a dull email newsletter and the fact we are forced to email them the hours CPD we do each year…

If anything seemed like a joke this is it
As a letter from these guys made me throw a fit
I could not believe my eyes
They want a 126% rise
But worse they claim for me that there is some benefit
Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer will pay his £68, will send in his CPD evidence on time but only for a cut of the profits...
Categories
Limerick

Alfonso the Ninja Cat

There once was a feisty young cat
Who exercised and strengthened so that
He was faster than most
And silent as a ghost
So he could disembowel a passing rat
Alfonso has learnt the ways of the Ninja
Categories
Lazy rabbit Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

Happy New Year of the Rampant Rabbit

I have had a year of tiger beer but think this new year is more of a female biased one…

To celebrate the year of the rabbit,
If you are into the habit,
You can indulge a vice,
With a swanky device,
So rush to Anne Summers and grab it.

Two rabbitsDonald the lazy rabbit

Categories
Doodles Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

Dangerous Sheep

If you come across a possessed evil sheep
He may do things that will make you just weep
Who could believe such a ram
Was once a cute lamb?
As he mauls you and leaves you in a heap
Angry Ram
He bites, he maims and he taunts you badly. Do not feed.
Categories
Limerick

Why it is difficult to learn from ants

Lazy people will find that an ant shames,
Ants are work hard and dont play silly games,
But if you get down on the grass,
With a magnifying glass,
You’ll see that they burst out into flames.
dancing ant
"Be careful with your magnifying equipment on sunny days, not all ants have the sun protection that I have"
Categories
Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

Deadlines and Rabbits

If I have some free time work will grab it,
As deadlines breed just like a rabbit,
They want us to sleep no more,
Till we all collapse on the floor,
Maybe deadline missing should become a habit!
Two rabbits
Rabbits have a phrase "breeding like deadlines"

Categories
Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

Sonnets

Once there was a strange poetic idea,
Which when attempted makes one feel all queer,
14 lines seems so long,
And the rhyming seems wrong,
I should have stuck to limericks for this year!
Categories
Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

The curious llama

There once was a curious llama,
Who had a way of making people feel calmer,
He had a much darker side,
Looking at things that had died,
And got himself a job as an embalmer.