Categories
Limerick

It’s Oscar Night Again

Its my annual rant about the Oscars, its not news, its probably about as corrupt as FIFA world cup decisions and I can make my own mind up about what is a good film. And the statue really doesn’t look all that good.

Its the time for award ceremonies
So that actors can be pompous with ease
As everyone they thank
Who created their celluloid wank
That’s schmoozed best in their attempt to please
Categories
Lessons

First Week of 6 Weeks of Lazy Summer Lessons (12th – 18th)

So I am having that 6 weeks off that those lucky teachers get. Have found I learn less when I am having a lazy time, but still something new every day…

Monday

The sound of the star wars doors opening was actually some paper being slid from an envelope.

Tuesday

it costs £10.40 for an off peak day return from Taunton to Bristol.

Wednesday

S4C sometimes show Glamorgan twenty20 cricket matches.

Thursday

Michael Jackson’s favourite song was “smile” by Charlie Chaplin

Friday

There is no butter in peanut butter. There are peanuts though.

Saturday

Pandas have a digestive tract more suitable for meat eating, and will actually eat meat if offered.

Sunday

Eric Cartman’s middle name is Theodore. Something I had not noticed until today, probably ignored it.

Do We Learn Anything in June? Of Course We Do (1st-6th June)

Tuesday

Today I clarified what the batsman scores in cricket if the fielder catches the ball and touches the boundary (or crosses). As I thoought logically it is a six.

Wednesday

I found out that not only is Keifer Sutherland not at all american (canadian more like) he was born in London.

Thursday

World cup squads must have 3 keepers who are not allowed to play anywhere else but in goal. North Korea have only named 2 keepers and have a striker who is only allowed to play goalkeeper instead of a third keeper. The chuckle brothers have won both opportunity knocks (in 1967) and new faces (in 1974).

Friday

Yesterday was  Fronleichnam, a holiday in some parts of Germany, mainly catholic parts. It is the feast of corpus christi or the “Solemity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ”

Saturday

Cricket is becoming more popular in France, and in France you can be out jdg (jambe devant guichet). Incidently French cricket is probably not played in France.

Sunday

In the final episode of the final series of 24 the clock counts from 3 to 0 indicating the end of some sort of era probably.

Sunny Lessons April 12th-April 18th

Monday – Exciting news as I learnt something from someone aged 2. Peppa pigs brother is called George. I also learnt how a windmill arm action can help you to balance on a trampoline and how to bounce back up from a sitting position.

Tuesday – The actor who played Peter in Jesus Christ Superstar is better known for his work in Pornographic films as both an actor and director.

Wednesday – Xeme is a type of arctic gull

Thursday -Little’s theorem that I assumed was a sort of obvious probability theorem in queueing theory is called Little’s theorem. I apologise to Little for not knowing the theorem was his.

Friday – Plato was named because is head was flat (like a plateau). Pet passports were originally a monster raving looney party idea (I knew votes for 18 year olds was already).

Saturday – Rochdale Football Club before today had not had a promotion since 1969 so congratulations to them

Sunday – I learnt that tambourine and timbrel essentially are the same thing (despite the protestations of those Britains Got Talent hopefuls).

Categories
Limerick

Modern Medusa

There once was a medusa who could,
Turn a man into stone where he stood,
Nowadays cameras,
When pointed at actors,
Can turn some of them into wood.