Happy Gin Day

It is a busy time, not only are there 90th birthday elebrations for the Queen, but also it is World Gin Day. This is good news, as Her Majesty likes a bit of Gin. Here is my recipe for a perfect Gin Martini :

60cl Gin

0cl Vermouth

Stir the Gin gently with ice and serve with as many olives as possible (and for a treat stuff them with blue cheese)

And to celebrate the Queens 90th, here is my birthday limerick dedicated to her…

A nonagenarian monarch from Windsor
Said “Knight I want a large gin sir”
He said “Isn’t it time for your bed?”
She said “Guards! Off with his head”
But due to the European convention on human rights enshrined into UK law, he got away with it

Happy Gin Day Brenda
Happy Gin Day Brenda


Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

Another brother enters the 40s

Happy birthday to my brother Matt
Now he is 40 he is so old that
His life will be fantastic
Wearing pants that are plastic
And filling houses with ornaments and tat

Dan’s Birthday

There once was a fake yank called Dan,
Who was pizzas number one fan,
He goes early to bed,
Beer goes straight to his head,
So be careful today you old man.

Happy Birthday to Me (BOGOF limerick)

Happy Birthday to me so they say,
And to celebrate I’m going away,
For a day out in Bristol,
In a coach that’s quite full,
With students, that should make my day.
In the evening I shall have a beer,
And another as well I do fear,
I hope thats its fun,
For everyone,
And that my brother doesn’t cut through french weir.

Happy Birthday Dawn part 2 (amended to prevent libel action)

A more accurate version

There is a young girl who is thirty, still

Called Dawn, who is sexy and not dirty (as far as we know and what she does in her own time etc)

Ten years on she will be still thirty and not forty

Attractive and not naughty (as far as we know etc etc)

Not slutty not tarty and only mildly flirty (in a sort of reasonable way that people often are)


Happy Birthday Dawn!

Ought to point out that this involves much poetic licence. Dawn is neither slutty nor tarty nor 40.

There was a young girl who was thirty
Called Dawn, who was sexy and dirty
Ten years on she is forty
Fruity and naughty
And slutty and tarty and flirty