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Author: mc
Monday – A ten gallon hat holds 0.75 of a gallon. There is a collective noun for unicorns?!!!! Apparantly they are a blessing. Also “walla” is US for “rhubarb” in the UK and “rhabarber” in germany when referring to mumbling in the background of a scene by extras. I also learnt the plot of Carmen, she was a slut in my opinion. On the whole a very educational day.
Tuesday – There are 4 types of kidney stones. Calcium is the most popular as the body tries to make sculptures in the kidney with scrap calcium not used for bones. Uric acid stones can be formed by manic meat eating it seems. Magnesium and ammonia can combine to make a struvite stone and finally if a family has a talent for it they can produce a cystine stone.
Wednesday – I learnt that I have had a phlebotomy more than once in my life.
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My first trip to a 21st century doctor
Since the nineties I haven’t seen my GP, And my doctor has not looked at me, But today I felt ill, So needed a pill, To help my tender and sick left kidney.
For the summer I’ve said goodbye to my beard, As a face tan line would look a bit weird, My chin is now pink, Stubble washed down the sink, And I think a few people have cheered.
Monday – Hitler may well have had an IQ of about 141 (he probably had two balls too and certainly didnt keep one of them in the Albert Hall)
Tuesday – Casio GDC (Graphic Display Calculators) can now give their answers in exact form just to wind up physics departments. Also the scientific calculators will now do prime factor decomposition which will make gcse maths even easier to pass and will therefore result in the collapse of civilisation as the Daily Mail and old people gang up to moan about the fact that the youth of today dont go through all the pain they did… they fought a damn war you know.
Wednesday – Depictions of the last supper in 52 paintings over the last 1000 years have shown an increase in the size of portions suggesting that we are eating more. Also today learnt the Wurzels are prepared to make political comment, on the day that cider got taxed more heavily by someone called Darling (a bit of a girls name), they said “We have to tighten the string on our trousers, but we must admit that having to cut down on this local favourite leaves us feeling that we are being unfairly penalised.”
Thursday – Paintball paint is made from the same stuff found in cough syrup (presumably not the medical ingredients just the liquid stuff it’s dissolved in)
Friday – A 3:1 ratio of self rasing flour and a pinch of salt is enough to create soda bread
Saturday -Learnt the meaning of the bubble in poker (usually merrily win without bothering with too much of the jargon)
Sunday – South Park’s 200th episode will be first shown on April 14th and probably two days later in the UK
It is good that it will be the summer, But one thing is a bit of a bummer, We will lose an hour, And this makes me sour, The longer autumn weekend is just dumber
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Animal Concert (Not a topical Limerick)
In the concert the cat sang meow, To a beautiful Moo from the Cow, The dog then did bark, To the song of the lark, And the oinking from Sally the Sow.
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Parents Evening
I met some of the parents last night,
And werent they an interesting sight,
One of the mums had a beard, Some of the dads were quite weird, I suppose most of them though were alright. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So I got home from work about ten, Without food and was tired so then, I went to my bed, And rested my head, But not for long as I was woken again.
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Budding New Artist
I think my nephew robert may have a bit of the andy warhol about him…
Monday – Excitingly along with the vitamin D I am getting from the sunshine I also get 167% of my daily vitamin C requirement from one bottle of orange juice in the college canteen. Another spring thing I learnt is that spring moves 3 times faster in the US than in the UK (1 mile per hour in a northerly direction in the US).
Tuesday – I think I must have forgotten this but there is a tan rule that can be used for triangles (not as useful as the cosine and sine rule though).
Wednesday – When dating churches, holding digits against the window can help you date them. One thumb Norman (1000-1175), Index Finger Early English 1175 – 1275, three fingers (not little) Decorated (1275-1375) and the whole hand Perpendicular 1375-1575. Incidently in this case dating churches is not referring to taking them out for a nice candlelit meal.
Thursday – Jeans are stronger if the double stitching is in the inside leg. Also the pocket bags should be sewn into the inner hem if they are good quality. I also learnt what a pattern block was, my fashion awareness is growing stronger daily…
Friday (41st Birthday!) – Bakers Dolphin coaches have been in business before the invention of the coach, 130 years.
Saturday – Cafe Nero milano hot chocolate is now served in glasses.
Sunday – The cricket superstition that a nelson (111) is bad luck is possibly because the number has the appearance of wickets with the bails removed.