Mike's World (brain farts and other adventures)Within 7 days of producing the last limerick, I must produce another. No pressure!
Despite hating all the award ceremony back slapping tacky glitzy fake pretending to be all so much more important than the heart surgeons and relief workers of the world the 2010 Oscars at least got something right…
So Dances with Smurfs was not best, Though visually it may outclass the rest, The story was a bore, In 2D I’d snore, And to stay to the end would be a test.
The Oscar cermony is full of glitz, But somehow just gets on my tits, Their pretentiousness may,
Cause me to say, Get a proper job you poncy gits.
I have just had a nice lazy day, Which was perfect in every way, I had a very nice dinner, Cottage pie was a winner, But Monday fills me with dismay.
My brain made me suddenly alert, That its monday and I had no ironed shirt, So I ironed three, Then stopped for some tea,
Any more and the boredom would hurt.
(this can be repeated with the word Thursday or friday, and lines 3/4 replaced with “So I ironed one/ Then off to work I did run”)
There was a man trying to sleep, Counting an unbelievable number of sheep, He had to count more, As his housemate did snore*, It would make a lesser man give up and weep.
*Its not obvious which of them
I woke up last night not feeling well, My stomach ache i couldnt quell, So I lay in my bed, I rested my head, But was sweaty and hot and now smell.______________________________
There was a man who was ill, And with vomit he did the sink fill, The sink never flushes, His sick covered toothbrushes, Except one left on the window sill.
When celebrating chinese new year,
I like to crack open a beer,
I’ll make mine a tiger,
Stay clear of the cider,
And drink several until I feel queer*.
* nothing to do with sexual orientation
No chips on my shoulder btw…
Its February and everythings fine, Until Sunday will cause me to whine,
It just gets in the way, Of our pancake day, That irritating St Valentine
[i.e you should worry if you create a song that is not good enough for anyone else to hear especially if it has lots of children going lalalalala]
* Poetic licence. No longer in the money lending business
** More poetic licence, 1 day is more accurate