Author: mc

Lessons for Election Week

Monday

I was told two jokes one with the punchline Wong and one with the punchline Dragon Lips. Neither are particularly PC but the last one is particularly not PC. Also discovered an efficient method of raffle ticket folding. Also in the ICC twenty20 five overs is enugh for a game.

Tuesday

Spam was named as it contains pork and ham (and is jokingly referred to as “something that poses as pork and ham”). Yet another “cat poo” coffee fact, it is pronounced coo-pee loovuck (not Loowak).

Wednesday

This is becoming coffee obsessed, but today i found out how freeze dried coffee is made. Bet its not as nice as Kopi Luwak. I did leanr too that Tottenham will be part of this years top 4 who have champions league fun to look forward to. (Avoiding election news).

Thursday (General Election Day)

I was going to avoid any political lessons for this week (I had already read manifestos etc so got all that out of my system). However today i learnt that you are not allowed to wear a rosette to the polling station when casting your vote. You can get totally drunk and wasted before you vote though.

Friday

Today I learnt that there is a consitutional procedure when a general election ends up in a hung parliament.

Saturday

I found out that a nurdle is a plastic pellet as well as something a batsman can do in cricket. Also Joseph is Michael Jackson’s middle name, although I should have noticed this earlier.

Sunday

Louise Redknapp’s maiden name is Nurding.

Categories
Limerick

Axolotl

If an amphibian is something that’ll suit,
There’s a salamander that is a beaut,
Its cute little smile,
Wins by a mile,
Overall the axolotl is cute.
axolotlaxolotl 2
Categories
Uncategorized

The Best Ever Animal Alphabet

Obscure Animal Alphabet is far better than an HD one I came accross last summer.

Categories
Limerick

Chelsea

There once was a team called Chelsea
Who this year won Premiership number 3*
Today they scored 8
In a game that was great
And Man U are second hee hee hee

*Chelseas first league win was under the old system when it was not called the premiership and people used to stand and watch the game in flat caps. I am proud of the history but four did not rhyme with hee and art is art.

Categories
Limerick

Proportional Representation

For those who are confused with PR,
It involves deals being done in the bar,
And we can all vote,
For any old goat,
And we can kiss decision making ta-ta.
Categories
Limerick

Hung Parliaments

Our parliament is now well hung,
After the last one had taken a bung,
So noone has won,
Which is no fun,
Lets replace them with hot steaming dung.
Categories
Limerick

General Erection* Eve

So there’s about to be an election,
And our MPs are up for selection,
Armed with soundbite,
Sounding quite trite,
With policies that sound bland on inspection.

* typo

Categories
Limerick

“Cat Poo” Coffee Time

To have a palm civet is apparantly good luck,
If you want coffee that costs quite a buck,
You collect its poo,
And from that make a brew,
And savour some kopi luwak.
cat poo cafe au lait
Categories
Lessons

First May Lessons…(1st and 2nd of May)

Saturday

Kopi Luwak is the name of the “cat poo” coffee that is made from beans that have been through the asian palm civet (which is not a cat). I also deduced correctly that the power of hindsight is subtely different and more powerful than foresight although together I bet they would make a powerful world beating combo.

Sunday

Used ground coffee can be used as a fertiliser

Categories
Limerick

Hindsight man

Power of Hindsight man the future he’ll see,
And is someone that i’d like to be,
Along with foresight fox,
An opportunity knocks,
To lend my powers out  for quite a fee.hindsight