Categories
Doodles

397th Post : Football

Its football tournament time again, that time that comes round every 2 years (but occasionally every 4 years on those occasions England fail to qualify).

It turns out that I was deceived, from my scan of the UK media I had read that England were the worst football side ever. Last Saturday morning (China time) it was evident apparantly England are still capable of winning matches in tournaments. Even without Rooney. So it was worth staying up till 5am to watch England beat Sweden, to celebrate here are three lions…

We are going to score one more than you (as long as you are Sweden and not Spain, Italy, France, Germany, etc.)

And in the next game Shrek returns…

Chinese sometimes dont get my accent so I drew a picture to demonstrate the concept of Wayne Rooney
Categories
Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

The FIFA “family”

It seems as if I will not be flying emirates, drinking coca cola, buying addidas products, Macdonalds nor EA games…

Congratualtions to the hotbeds of football Haiti, Congo, Benin, Cyprus and Fiji for rushing to Sepp Blatter’s support today. After all the FIFA family is a very delicate and precious flower and we would hate football to ruin it all for them…

So that hotbed of football cyprus
Backs Blatter and asks what’s the fuss?
Whats a bribe here or there
Why should we care
As long as a few quid can be thrown at us
~
Grondona* asked for Falklands for his vote
Which as far as bribes go is one of note
Maybe give us back football
Then give us a call
Your association with FIFA is no reason to gloat
~
So well done Fiji, Haiti, Congo, Benin
For propping up a footballs version of Lenin
So while the FIFA’s inbred family
Back pat, and backhand happily
The true football family must consign them to the bin
_____________________________________________________________________________

Another example of what a quality human being and fantastic FIFA family member Julio Grondona is can be found from the following quote…

‘I do not believe a Jew can ever be a referee at that level (Argentine Premier League) because it’s hard work and, you know, Jews don’t like hard work.’

FIFA senior vice-president and chair of Finance Committee, Julio Grondona, 5 July 2003. Buenos Aires

Categories
Lessons New Year Resolutions 2010

November 3rd – November 9th

Wednesday

African Pangolins mainly give birth to one offspring at a time whereas the Asian ones are more likely to go for twins or triplets.

Thursday

The collective noun for hamsters is a horde.

Friday

The real Maria Von Trapp made a fleeting appearance in The Sound of Music.

Saturday

Swindon Supermarine made this years FA cup 1st round, I can remember being entertained by a bad tempered game between them and Taunton Town a few years ago…

Sunday

A 600g box of jelly babies contains approximately 100 jelly babies.

Monday

The Hungarian Algorithm was actually dvised in america based on the previous work of 2 Hungarian Mathematicians.

Tuesday

140g of sugar puffs will give you 100% of the daily recommended amount of vitamin B1.

Categories
Lessons

A few last lessons from West of Greenwich

Wednesday

There used to be a football team called Blackburn Olympic, who have won an FA Cup

Thursday

Today I learnt that the place where some of my dad’s weirder Singapore photos were taken still exists under the name Haw Par Villa rather than Tiger Balm Gardens.

Friday

I learnt how to make chilli jam without pectin.

Saturday

Cats can let out a claw at a time, although I probably would have thought this I witnessed it.

Sunday

GIMP can be used to create GIF animations after downloading an addin.

Monday

I found an even more general proof of the inability of hexagons to create a ball like polyhedron without the help of 12 pentagons.

Tuesday

Trombone is french for paper clip.

Wednesday

Syphilis was known as the f4ench disease in Germany and Poland, the Italian disease in French. basically named after the nation whose travelloers spread it to a country.

Categories
Lessons

June Lessons for the Longest Day and Beyond (21st – 27th)

Monday

Mexico City has the worlds largest University UNAM, (measured by the number of students enrolled).

Tuesday

The Japanese for death by overwork is Karōshi. It is s0mething I am always conscious of avoiding.

Wednesday

Slovenia is the richest Slavic nation, and I learnt exactly where it is which is a bit embarrassing as I really ought to have known

Thursday

The USA came third in the first World Cup (there was no third place play off then but they were recognised by FIFA as having a better record than the other beaten semi-finalists Yugoslavia).

Friday

Apparantly no team has lost a World Cup match after being 2-0 up at half time.

Saturday

Richard Coles of the Communards is now a Church of England priest. Also Ridley Scott directed the famous Hovis advert shot on a cobbled street in Dorset (not Yorkshire).

Sunday

The biggest defeat England have ever suffered in World Cup Finals is 4-1 against Germany in 2010 (June 27th)

Categories
Limerick

World Cup News

Netherlands today beat Denmark,
But the game really failed to spark,
Cameroon lost,
A game Japan bossed,
Italy and Paraguay drew after dark.
Categories
Limerick

Germany v Australia

Against the Aussies the Germans scored four,
They had chances to score even more,
They were good but still,
The red card for Cahill,
Was a decision that was particularly poor.
Categories
Limerick

World Cup Day 2 (England v USA)

There are plenty of places where,
You can watch tonights affair,
As for the score for Korea,
And Argentina no fear,
If its not England today I don’t care.

There are some things that are better not seen,
Like what happened to poor Robert Green,
Yet ITV showed an advert,
Which seemed to divert,
Our attention from Gerrard’s goal that had been.
Categories
Limerick

World Cup Opening Day Report

So France and Uruguay could not score,
The game ended up as a draw,
Gonzales tackled too hard,
And hence got a red card,
But apart from that the game was a bore.


The other game was so much more fun,
As the hosts and Mexico both scored one,
The crowd made so much noise,
Cheering on their boys,
As they played under the African sun.

More June Facts (7th – 13th)

Monday

Zhuji City in China is responsible for 30% of the worlds sock production

Tuesday

In South Korea it is commonly believed that sleeping with an electric fan on is a risky business and the news often reports on “fan death” incidents. According to the rest of the world this is merely an urban myth.

Wednesday

Electric Eels are techincally not eels, they have more in common with catfish.

Thursday

Elephantitus technically would be inflammation of the elephant. The actual disease that gives you legs of some magnitude is elephantiasis.

Friday

Mexico let in the first goal of this years World Cup, but also let in the first goal ever in a World Cup. Morocco incidently were the first African side to get a point in a World Cup. Until today No team had defended 104 or lower in a Twenty20 game anywhere in the world. Today Somerset did!

Saturday

Today I learnt that at the time of the Rorke’s Drift it was impressive if you could fire three shots in a minute.

Sunday

The Ghana national football team are known as the Black Stars, presumably a reference to the national flag.