When I am feeling particularly creative there is sometimes only one way to express it, and that is through one of my more creative pursuits, mathematics…Art can take you to an imaginary land Far beyond what a mans eye can see Literature can describe such places so grand Drama can provoke feelings in both you and me But what of places beyond ones imagination? What about to things that the mind cannot picture Any method of thought that can cope would be fun This is where mathematics comes right to the fore It can see things both in this world and beyond Things imaginary as well as things everyday It is why maths is something of which I am fond Maths needs immense creativity along the way So if lifes beauty is something that’s much sought Consider e to the pi i minus one equals nought.
I am moving on to a new job, not because I do not like where I work but I have been there 10 years. Over that time I will take many happy memories with me, but there is one that is far greater than any other.
To welcome new students into college this amazing crossword was produced, unlike every other crossword in history in this one the answers did not always cross and very often were not words…
e.g. 1 down INITIAL ASSESSTENT (helped out by the 11 down clue that adds the tent)
8 down UCASP (University Central Admission Service with a P on the end)
8 across N SUPPORT (even though the clue suggests there is no N)
10 down LRCR (learning Resource Centre with an R on the end)
7 Across is TWO WAY REVIEW, although there is no space in the grid for 7 across. Luckily it fits into 11 across and 11 does rhyme with 7…
Never in the history of a4 paper has one sheet of a4 paper given so much pleasure to so many people over so much time… it is enough to get me poetic…
The Great Familirisation CrosswordIt is nearly time the time that i will move on And of all my memories if I’d choose one This will make me smile fondly when I have gone Its the stroke of genius and a puzzle thats fun It is the worlds most amazing crossword To welcome new students these things were sent Now some may think non words not crossing’s absurd But they can be in awe of the intial assesstent You can find books in the LRCR Get N support and college opportunities grasp Then after two years students can go far If they send their uni apps off to UCASP so out of the puzzles that have been done The best was for familirisation ~
You can download your very own copy of the crosswordtent to printout here : crosswordtent
The pen is mightier than the sword, but who wins out of a keyboard and a pen? Maybe computer keyboard beats pen (due to autocorrect). Pen beats sword (somehow). Sword beats keyboard (chops power cable to pc). A sort of duller office version of rock, scissors, paper…Most things I write I have decided to type It’s a more correctable medium than is the Pen It’s one of the ways I can talk via Skype Tho a mic and a cam I’ll use now and then But I have noticed I’ve a faded key A And the same fate has befallen the N Tho Q looks as new as on its first day Seems some keys need better labels then Such issues are not the case with pen and ink And folk do like getting hand written mail Easier on the eye than times roman I Think And the postman really does not often fail So to ditch the pen would be quite absurd Even when I write much in Microsoft Word
Is there nothing paper cannot achieve? i would never have thought of using it to make bath mats out of, its enough to drive one to poetic thoughts…In my room ensuite there’s a thing that I see Its an oblong disposable paper bath mat Printed on it are feet bigger than me Feet that size belong on one taller and fat At least the mats not just a special towel And no scabby dirty feet have used this before Getting a veruka can be terribly foul So well done mat for preventing a foot sore Its made of an odd sort of material And is not soft like the one at home used The paper may not be sustainable Is it superior or not, I am confused But at this time it does fill a great need The floor has no puddles – success indeed!
You can go up them and down them, how amazing is that?
Stairs…Oh glorious thing that is the flight of Stairs A method of getting higher by your feet Lifts can get stuck and a person their odour shares So the reliable method of ascent isn’t beat. So be happy and rejoice when it’s time to ascend Be ecstatic and merry afterwards when you go down It is joyous whether going up or descend Especially after getting ready to hit the town. But it has to be said that some stairs go too high And accidents occur on them when you have to shift And stairs get harder to manage as time goes by And you then have to invest in a Stannah Stair lift. But without more storeys more space we’ll take Without stairs man will spread out like a pancake. ~
An attempt at a more italian style, the volta is the point at which i have given up and have lost my enthusiasm for fiddling with a cistern and dripping pipe…We had no flush in our upstairs toilet The problem was not too hard to discern We needed a new part in the cistern A job not hard that we thought should be met Even though the property is one that’s let So repairs aren’t something we have to turn But toilet function I did actually once learn But this repair i would like to forget It would be nice to be mended for spring But I think it will be broken till summer It is very possibly the most recent thing That has now made me feel somewhat dumber Maybe I should just to the phone now swing And let it be done by an expert plumber
Health and Safety Disclaimer :
1) Don’t mix lemsip with parecetemol (lemsip is disgusting anyway so I’d just go for paracetemol)
2) Don’t do that joke about why are there no aspirin in the jungle (because the parrots ate em all)
An Ode to a deoderant (a deODEerant) that turned to a rant about deoderant (a deodeRANT). Summing up the dilemma of rollon or aerosol…Each morning I’ll use some deoderant, After rising showering and then shaving, If we were all far less considerant, We could each month all then find we are saving, I’ve found that maybe the most hassle free way, Is not to use roll on under my armpits, I’ve found it best to apply with aerosol spray, As the wet underarms just get on my tits, But there are problems when using the spray can, I’ll not know when the spray’s gone and no more, And what is the dose useful for one man? Fifteen centimetres away can I be sure? This dilemma has got me to now think, Damn that foul deoderant let us just stink.
(MC Jan 2011)