New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

Hybrid… The Trane

Having relocated to China I had to endure that abuse of human rights, plane travel. I travelled to Gatwick by train which is by far the nicest way to travel. It was at that point I realised that a hybrid train and plane (a trane) would be a perfect way to cross continents.

Tommy, Fanny and Annabel off on an intercontinental adventure

What is interesting is the way in China they have managed to make train travel a bit more like plane travel, stations seem just a little bit like airports… maybe they will eventually create the plain (train travel with all the misery of air travel).

Unusual Hybrids

The Pander

As the tiger and the giant panda are both endangered I wondered if breeding them with each other might create an animal less prone to extinction. Of course the plan backfires if the creature only eats bamboo, is totally frigid but has a penis useful for chinese medicine…

lock up your bamboo, the pander is on the prowl...

New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

Organic Supermarkets

Instead of just selling organic food I think supermarkets ought to go totally organic and cross their equipment with animals. A shopping trolley would behave so much better if it had angry bull genes (angry bulls are far friendlier than the average shopping trolley). These angry bull/trolleys can be stored in the eager to please Dachshund/trolley parks. The hydra litter bins can reproduce asexually to form more bins helping to keep the area tidy. The squirrel powered card readers can be fed nuts that have reached their sell by date…

Tescos could be so much more fun...
New Year Resolutions 2011 Sonnets

Lets Derive on Forever

When I am feeling particularly creative there is sometimes only one way to express it, and that is through one of my more creative pursuits, mathematics…

Art can take you to an imaginary land
Far beyond what a mans eye can see
Literature can describe such places so grand
Drama can provoke feelings in both you and me
But what of places beyond ones imagination?
What about to things that the mind cannot picture
Any method of thought that can cope would be fun
This is where mathematics comes right to the fore
It can see things both in this world and beyond
Things imaginary as well as things everyday
It is why maths is something of which I am fond
Maths needs immense creativity along the way
So if lifes beauty is something that’s much sought
Consider e to the pi i minus one equals nought.
A random walk of a drunk beetle to see if he would return to the start
Unusual Hybrids

Fun with Crayons

I used wax crayons for the first time in decades when a toadstool turtle hybrid came round to pose for a portrait…

Although his shell is not so hard he is poisonous so will never end up in a soup

(It is said that a bad worker always blames his tools and I am no exception. I have decided that wax crayons are rubbish and probably are best left as a tool to keep children quiet for a few minutes…)

New Year Resolutions 2011 Sonnets

Moving to a New Job

I am moving on to a new job, not because I do not like where I work but I have been there 10 years. Over that time I will take many happy memories with me, but there is one that is far greater than any other.

To welcome new students into college this amazing crossword was produced, unlike every other crossword in history in this one the answers did not always cross and very often were not words…

e.g. 1 down INITIAL ASSESSTENT (helped out by the 11 down clue that adds the tent)

8 down UCASP (University Central Admission Service with a P on the end)

8 across N SUPPORT (even though the clue suggests there is no N)

10 down LRCR (learning Resource Centre with an R on the end)

7 Across is TWO WAY REVIEW, although there is no space in the grid for 7 across. Luckily it fits into 11 across and 11 does rhyme with 7…

Never in the history of a4 paper has one sheet of a4 paper given so much pleasure to so many people over so much time… it is enough to get me poetic…

The Great Familirisation Crossword

It is nearly time the time that i will move on
And of all my memories if I’d choose one
This will make me smile fondly when I have gone
Its the stroke of genius and a puzzle thats fun
It is the worlds most amazing crossword
To welcome new students these things were sent
Now some may think non words not crossing’s absurd
But they can be in awe of the intial assesstent
You can find books in the LRCR
Get N support and college opportunities grasp
Then after two years students can go far
If they send their uni apps off to UCASP
so out of the puzzles that have been done
The best was for familirisation
Ok they are not words and do not cross but that is just being picky

You can download your very own copy of the crosswordtent to printout here : crosswordtent

New Year Resolutions 2011 Sonnets

Keyboards v Pens

The pen is mightier than the sword, but who wins out of a keyboard and a pen? Maybe computer keyboard beats pen (due to autocorrect). Pen beats sword (somehow). Sword beats keyboard (chops power cable to pc). A sort of duller office version of rock, scissors, paper…

Most things I write I have decided to type
It’s a more correctable medium than is the Pen
It’s one of the ways I can talk via Skype
Tho a mic and a cam I’ll use now and then
But I have noticed I’ve a faded key A
And the same fate has befallen the N
Tho Q looks as new as on its first day
Seems some keys need better labels then
Such issues are not the case with pen and ink
And folk do like getting hand written mail
Easier on the eye than times roman I Think
And the postman really does not often fail
So to ditch the pen would be quite absurd
Even when I write much in Microsoft Word
Alfonso the kitten
This might have been the reason for my faded N key...
New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids


Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cheese shop…

If you are a swimmer its best to take cheese with you to throw as a distraction

New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

April’s Hybrid

It is a bit late due to never being in the same room as the scanner. In fact for a while I thought the Easter Chinny and the scanner might be one in the same thing (like superman, is it a panini toaster, is it a trouserpress, no its scanner rabbit/chick thing…)

Anyway even though Easter is a distant memory here is the Easter Bunny and Easter Chicks cute little bundle of joy.

This little cute thing will warm your heart as it pumps your veins with pure chocolate.
New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

More Dog Fish Capers

Who would have thought it? After another morning at the Mathematical Association’s annual conference I found out that as well as their place in chaos theory (see The Dog Fish and Chaos Theory) apparantly some breeds of dogfish can swim in tessellating shoals…

A shoal of a merman's best friend seen just outside Atlantis