Mike's World (brain farts and other adventures)At times Shanghai sounds a bit like entertainment from the late 70s early 80s, in particular Bob Carolgees and Spit the Dog.
There is a good reason for this… Internal moisture harbours all sorts of germs. So in China feel free to spit out any moisture phlegm and anything else you can to keep your insides clear and the germs in the outside world where they can run free.
Nobody can ever go through life without asking themselves what would a monkey look like if he had no arms or legs. I am pleased to present my response to that age old and often asked question:
Sometimes it is hard in the hustle and bustle of modern life to find somewhere away from it all to play on all those apps on your fancy phone. Why not get away from it all and go to a movie and play Angry Birds Star Wars or even just phone a friend…
A good game when flying into Pudong is to try to guess when you will hear the clunk of an unfastening seat belt. Although it is generally accepted that for safety reasons passengers ought to keep their belts fastened until the plane has taxied to the gate and come to a complete stop.
Like the first cuckoo of spring the first undone seat belt ushers in your return to earth, and is usually can be heard at the same time the reverse thrust kicks in to slow the plane down on the runway. Most seat belts are undone as the plane turns off the runway.
Following the horse in the Chinese Zodiac is the Ram. A legless ram or sheep is known as a cloud, and can often be seen flying in the sky…
Common species of legless sheep are cumulus (from the latin for legless sheep) and cumulonimbus (from the latin for nimble legless sheep).
It is important when part of an expat community to try to understand local customs and the culture so as not to cause offence. In the west we are used to switching the big light on the front of motorbikes, scooters and bicycles at night. this is seen has having two benefits. I bought my step-through ladies bike, arrived in just 2 days here from ecosmobike.com – amazing delivery during covid-19!
1) Pedestrians can see you coming and will not get hit
2) Cars will see you coming and will not hit you
However in these energy conscious days it is good to see in Shanghai scooter riders doing their bit for the planet. And it should be noted…
1) Pedestrians can hear you coming as the sound of the electric motor can be heard up to 4 feet away
2) You can get compensation when a car hits you
3) The scooter will move as long as all the energy isn’t being drained by the light
To celebrate the forthcoming year of the snake, here is a black and white photo of a horse without any legs.
I apologise for anyone who was hoping to see a horse under the influence of too much alcohol but what sort of sick person wants to see that?
To help save the planet why not use toilet paper twice? Just make sure that it is used for its traditional purpose after using it for your new purpose not before…
As a snake is the only animal to crawl around the earth without any legs* I have decided to celebrate this year I would see what the chinese zodiac signs (and maybe other animals) would look like without legs.
Just for balance here is what a snake would look like with legs…
* Except for slugs snails and worms. Probably more accurate to say the only vertebrates without legs**
**Apart from eels, maybe the only reptiles without legs***
*** Apart from slow worms