I have just had a nice lazy day, Which was perfect in every way, I had a very nice dinner, Cottage pie was a winner, But Monday fills me with dismay.
Category: New Year Resolutions 2010
My brain made me suddenly alert, That its monday and I had no ironed shirt, So I ironed three, Then stopped for some tea,
Any more and the boredom would hurt.
(this can be repeated with the word Thursday or friday, and lines 3/4 replaced with “So I ironed one/ Then off to work I did run”)
Categories
Sleepless in Toy Town
There was a man trying to sleep, Counting an unbelievable number of sheep, He had to count more, As his housemate did snore*, It would make a lesser man give up and weep.
*Its not obvious which of them
Categories
Me Being Ill / Dan Being Ill
I woke up last night not feeling well, My stomach ache i couldnt quell, So I lay in my bed, I rested my head, But was sweaty and hot and now smell.______________________________
There was a man who was ill, And with vomit he did the sink fill, The sink never flushes, His sick covered toothbrushes, Except one left on the window sill.
When celebrating chinese new year,
I like to crack open a beer,
I’ll make mine a tiger,
Stay clear of the cider,
And drink several until I feel queer*.
* nothing to do with sexual orientation
Categories
Valentines Day Limerick
No chips on my shoulder btw…
Its February and everythings fine, Until Sunday will cause me to whine,
It just gets in the way, Of our pancake day, That irritating St Valentine
Categories
My tribute to Radio 2 type music
There was a young man with a song,
Which would last him his whole life long,
But the song was absurd,
And it shouldn’t be heard, Thus proving the Carpenters wrong
But the song was absurd,
And it shouldn’t be heard, Thus proving the Carpenters wrong
[i.e you should worry if you create a song that is not good enough for anyone else to hear especially if it has lots of children going lalalalala]
The hedgehog is a happy little chap who dances for a wheeze
But dont you get too near to him as he is full of fleas
Monday – I actually found out what macrame is. heard the name, knew it was some sort of craft thing that I would never do but wasn’t sure if it was done with card, tissue paper or paint. Turns out you need cord but I am probably the only one who didn’t know this. (I don’t know if it is possible to make macrame clothes actually…)
Tuesday – The fastest hatrick in the FA Cup was 3 minutes in 1968 by Billy Best of Southend. Also the 22nd and 24th President of the USA was the same man.
Wednesday – It is possible to make macrame clothing – and some people do not know that pigs have male and female
Thursday – If I got two promotions I would not have to make my own tea
Friday – Sainsbury’s in Taunton has a resident robin
Saturday – Holding a pencil between your teeth can make you happy
Sunday – there are 28 varieties of rabbitfish, and they are probably all uglier than rabbits
It is this months most fantabulous day,
As my account is now filled with my pay,
I have money to spend,
Maybe money to lend,*
But next week it’ll have frittered away.**
* Poetic licence. No longer in the money lending business
** More poetic licence, 1 day is more accurate