FA Cup Doodles

The FA Cup final kick off was even more annoying for those of us watching from Shanghai, especially as beer drinking started at 3pm Local time (over 9 hours till kick off). I have often thought that ideas I come up with while having beers are among my best but I keep forgetting them before the morning after hangover. On FA Cup Saturday I decided to record ideas I had (each one represents an extra one or two beers)…

Idea 1 : What does a Foxy Lady really look like?

Foxy ladies seem like a good idea but they can get mange and will go through your bins at night

2. Are birds as good at dancing as they claim to be?

Dancing Bird

3. How can you tell the sex of a fish?

4. As pleasant as the sight of a full beer glass is it is all about context, and somewhere else it may not be as attractive

How I feel after one too many

5. Shanghai would have made a great setting for King Kong

I was in the Blue Frog looking up at this Panda scaling Shanghai's World Financial Centre. I am sure this is what it looked like from the other bank.

6. Are there such things as squirrel vampires?

So obviously I do not have good world changing ideas whilst drinking…

New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

The Dog Fish – And Chaos Theory

Is it a fish or is it a dog, is it a fishdog? No its a dogfish. Some crazy people think dogfish are a type of shark but I think it is a close cousin of a beagle…

It is said that if a dogfish wags his tail in the South China Sea it can cause good surfing in Newquay. This is a known as the Dogfish Effect and is a key concept in Chaos Theory.

Get the surfboards out, this is one happy fish...

Sticklebacks in Love

As it is nearly V-day here is a romantic little poem inspired by the fact sticklebacks can change sex…

John and Freda were a stickleback pair
Who at first felt a great deal of lust
So their lives they decided to share
As in each other they found that they could trust
The lust waned after year four
And life together started to drag
John was becoming a bore
And Freda would consistently nag
But stickleback males can change
If they want nagging to stop
They turn female, to them its not strange
So John became Joanne without even a chop
So then Joanna and Freda were fine
And life was great and they gave not a toss
As they met for a glass of white wine
And had hours of fine girlie goss
But there was a thing in life that they did miss
And that was the company of a male
A hug, a cuddle and a passionate kiss
So they had a solution that could not fail
So Freda decided she would become Fred
And together the two fish would cavort
Until eventually the sticklebacks wed
(This despite Freds obsession with farting and sport)
Joanne wished she shared Freds obsession too
But she preferred instead to go to the shop
Fred said “I wish I could chat sport with you”
So Johanna became John and got a replica top
So they both enjoyed watching the water polo
For a while until their loins filled with sexual need
They did not want to fulfill their needs solo
So Fred became Freda so they could do the deed
So what sex they are now is anyones guess
As they change to whatever they feel best
But far from thier lives being a mess
Life is always new and they feel blessed