New Years Resolutions 2013 Snakes

Dogs Missing Body Parts

Dogs with no noses are famous for their comedy value. Less well known is the following joke:

Man* 1:My dog rolls around in stinking refuse

Man 2: How does he smell

Man 1: With his nose

Incidentally the “no nose joke” was the most popular out of a range of unfunny jokes such as:

Man 1: My dog has no liver

Man 2: how does he detoxify his blood and synthesise proteins?

Man 1: Badly

And the one most relevant to snake like dogs…

Man 1: My dog has no legs

Man 2: How does he run?

Man 1: Awfully

These dogs can be easily trained, but they take the command “heel” to be a bit insensitive.

(* Women would not waste their time with crap jokes**)

(** Not when there are jobs around the house to do)

Dragons New Years Resolutions 2012

Chinese Zodiac: The Dog

This is either the best or the worst of all the signs. If you are born in this year you are either a bitch, or you have bollocks that rival the knees of a bee.*

Just remember to walk once a day and to scoop up your mess when you do.

People born in the year of the dog are excellent at begging so give them a biscuit.


New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

The Dog Fish – And Chaos Theory

Is it a fish or is it a dog, is it a fishdog? No its a dogfish. Some crazy people think dogfish are a type of shark but I think it is a close cousin of a beagle…

It is said that if a dogfish wags his tail in the South China Sea it can cause good surfing in Newquay. This is a known as the Dogfish Effect and is a key concept in Chaos Theory.

Get the surfboards out, this is one happy fish...