Mike's World (brain farts and other adventures)The grumpy parrot is like a social commentator, but generally moans all day about stuff.
I wondered how every week Polly Toynbee of the Gruaniad Newspaper (and Tuscany) could get away with writing essentially the same article every single week with a different headline;
1) Ed Milliband is great and making the Labour party so super
2) We need to piss away more money to deal with the problems of having pissed so much money already
3) Conservatives are evil
I have since realised based on the name and the repetition that she is indeed a parrot
Here is the line up for Britains Got Talent…
1. A boy who sings
2. A scottish man who sings
3. A man who can sound like other people
4. A boy who dances
5. Four more boys who sing
6. A mad woman on an organ
7. A young lad on a piano
8. An old man who dances
9. A young man who dances
10. Someone who can sing even though he lives in a caravan – surely not possible is it something from the devil? (At least he can play the guitar as well)
in beerogram terms:
Dancing 
Keyboards
Other
At the moment in my pocket there are 5 objects. hence BGT versus things in my pocket to see what has the most variety…
BGT 
my left trouser pocket
Conclusion : there is more variety in my left pocket than in this years final of Britains Got Talent
The Christmas lights flicker in the sky
Credit card bills now get very high
All across the land, shops open early morn
This comes to pass when a child is born
Children wish for toys with high fees
People pushing and feeling ill at ease
Christmas shoppers crumble, tossed and torn
This comes to pass when a child is born
Sneezes and coughs and people push around
You’ve got the feel you’re slipping on icey ground
The crowds about, make people feel forlorn
This comes to pass when a child is born
And all of this happens because the world is waiting
Waiting for Christmas
Black, white, yellow, no-one knows
But a child that will grow up and turn tears to laughter
And to celebrate everyone will spend loads in a consumer rush
And town centres will be full of misery and suffering
Christmas day still seems far from now
But in the shops it comes early somehow
All across the land, shopping continuously makes us yawn
This comes to pass when a child is born
I have decided that seeing as some very talentless people have gone on world tours it is about time MCW went on a world tour. The world tour is as follows…
1) Singapore
2) London
3) Toy Town
Harry the Grumpy Parrot had this to say…
Meanwhile Donald had this to say…
Harry says, “Any ‘dream’ team of blogs that does not include this one is probably more of a nightmare team. Where else can you learn that in Cleopatra’s day they didn’t know their asp from their elbow? (Or cobra).”
“On the moon there is less gravity so why is the dance with the feet stuck to the ground called ‘The Moonwalk’? It should be named after somewhere with more gravity, ‘The Jupiterwalk’ would be better. No wonder so many people are useless at science!”
Harry (Cancer) has kindly given me his guide to sun signs…
Stop dropping litter
Lose some weight you porker
Stop walking around with your trousers half way down your buttocks showing off your boxers while your trousers are staying up by wishful thinking alone.
It is probably up to you to sort the rest of the world out.
Stop parking illegally in other people’s way just because you have put your hazard warning lights on.
Stop talking and eating at the same time, I don’t want to see your chewed up food.
Stop acting like you know it all, you are becoming boring.
Pull yourself together
Stop pushing in front of people in queues.
Stop getting so drunk you vomit all over the pavement.
You dress like a whore, cover up.
Use deodorant, you smell.