Its exciting listening to the rain,
Tho a thought has come into my brain,
Its not quite so fine,
For washing on the line,
That will have to be washed yet again.
Category: New Year Resolutions 2010
Categories
A Salutary Tale of Culinary Woe
Sometimes I do think that I,
Need to ask myself why,
I do things that are silly, Like touching chilli, Then rubbing myself in the eye.
I do things that are silly, Like touching chilli, Then rubbing myself in the eye.
If you do not want to be dead,
From a piano landing onto your head,
You’ll never stand,
Where the piano will land,
If you don’t get up and stay in your bed.
Where the piano will land,
If you don’t get up and stay in your bed.
The first stage is to cross the floor,
Then you need to open the door,
Look till you find
The thing on your mind
Close the fridge firmly to be sure
This method has been tested on a blob of marmitey cheese and does indeed work
If you want to have fish that looks nice,
First rub the skin with plenty of ice,
So it won’t tarnish,
Paint it with varnish,
And serve with a spoonful of rice.
First rub the skin with plenty of ice,
So it won’t tarnish,
Paint it with varnish,
And serve with a spoonful of rice.
Inspired by all the ladies who claim they love honesty etc. before going for the “exciting” neanderthal
When there’s a lady to woo,This is the best thing to do,
Dont be charming,
She’ll find that alarming, Just act like you’ve come from the zoo.
Categories
Practical Advice to Deal With Boredom
Boredom can make you feel a bit down,
It can make you fed up and frown,
I find in the main,
Its best then to complain,
And mope like a misery about town.
The following takes place on a typical monday in February
00:00
Midnight, the end of another fine day And its time to get into bed I’d say But I wont yet sleep I have promises to keep And a bit more planning to do before I may01:00
The time has now gone onto one And I am still awake having some fun Playing online chess Releiving any stress Which come to think of it I have none02:00
Its an hour later now two I still have a few things to do Maybe do a plan If I still can But first I’ll need a trip to the loo03:00
The clock on the wall now says three Its time to sleep even for someone like me So I will switch off the light Sleep the rest of the night Will the alarm wake me? I’ll have to see04:00
I am asleep by the time it is four Maybe deeply, maybe I do snore It would though seem I do at least dream Maybe once, but probably more05:00
I am still sleeping at 5 am The time that possibly when Some people get up Have their tea in a cup But I am oblivious to them06:00
It is six and I do sometimes wake I am too tired for my breakfast to make So I find that instead I stay in my bed And have an extra sleep for my minds sake07:00
It is morning and the time is now seven I am asleep and it feels like heaven It is all calm An hour till my alarm If i oversleep I may not wake till eleven08:00
The alarm wakes me now that its eight I have to be quick so that I am not late So its a rish again Before i get my train After showered, dressed and breakfast is ate09:00
The time has now moved onto nine I got to work and everything’s fine The lesson thats first Is never the worst Although the tired students do tend to whine10:00
The lesson goes well until ten This is the time generally when We break for fifteen Students take seventeen And I have to tell them off once again11:00
It is eleven and nearly the end I have driven students round the bend Teaching them calculus As they make too much fuss I would call them stupid but I dont want to offend12:00
So its a typical day at about noon It will be my lunchtime quite soon After tutorial I can be seen Queuing in the canteen And dreaming of the quieter days of June13:00
So the afternoon arrives and its one Paperwork to do, so much fun For everything a form Sometimes two is the norm Its the part of the job I like to shun14:00
I am often teaching again by the time it is two Sewing what the students can do This time its a log That is causing a fog In the minds of maybe quite a few15:00
The time has now moved onto three A lesson in geometry looking at gradients Should make more sense But we shall have to wait and see16:00
By the time it has become four Its beginning to seem more and more That gradients Do not make sense And the studentsfind me quite a bore17:00
Work is nearly at an end Its five and I’m driven round the bend Who called this damn meeting Deserves a beating Why not put the info in an email and send18:00
It is six and at last time for the train That will take me home once again Although its always late By four minutes or eight Any longer and I go slightly insane19:00
Its now seven and nothing’s on tv So there a pther things to do then for me I can maybe mark While it gets dark Or alternatively cook myself tea20:00
Now that the time is now eight And the evening is getting a bit late Its time now I think To go to the pub for a drink As a beer would really taste great21:00
The time has now moved onto nine And distractions have worked out fine I will not have beer But do not fear Instead a dvd and a bottle of wine22:00
That time has come around once again The annoying feeling that happens at ten I was feeling fine But tomorrow at nine I need to prepare something I’ve forgotten23:00
Its eleven and nearly the day’s end In an email tomorrows plan I will send Now I relax Have a few little snacks And wish that it was the weekend00:00
Midnight, the end of another fine day And its time to get into bed I’d say But I wont yet sleep I have promises to keep And a bit more planning to do before I may
Categories
Some Bloody Parents
Sometimes I find that a childs mum,
Has an attitude that makes me feel glum,
And that a dad,
Makes me feel sad,
I’d like to kick them both up the bum.
Has an attitude that makes me feel glum,
And that a dad,
Makes me feel sad,
I’d like to kick them both up the bum.
Categories
Telling a Snail From a Slug
When distinguishing a snail from a slug,
If you dont want to look like a mug,
Dont go by the smell,
Check for a shell,
As on its back a snail has one to lug.
