I think the man who swallowed a ring,
Really had a very good thing,
I wish he had won,
Rather than anyone,
Who just dances or someone who’d sing.
Category: New Year Resolutions 2010
Categories
The Last May Lessons…
Monday
I learnt today that I know a descendant of Victor Hugo.
Tuesday
Courgettes have male and female flowers.
Wednesday
The little african grebe is now extinct. It used to live in Madagascar but was killed off by fish and fishing nets.
Although there is a plan to change the law, at the moment there is a law in Germany that prevents intercity buses apart from a few routes.
Thursday
Lucozade now comes in cherry flavour. A useless fact for me as I am not a great cherry fan.
Friday
Pacman was 30 years old this year, but I missed his birthday which is apparantly May 22nd. Also in 1999 someone completed all 256 levels eating every pellet, ghost and fruit, a perfect game (madness in my opinion).
Saturday
Today I learnt what Kopi Luwak tastes like.
Sunday
Chongqing has a population similar to Canada and Poland (and rising). I also only today found out that there is a Thai yellow curry (I knew about the green and the red versions. It turns out you can have the whole set of traffic lights all made with Thai curries).
Monday
If it wasnt for The Beatles, Ken Dodd’s “Tears” would be the top selling song of the 60s. (Only beaten by “She Loves You”, and “I Want to hold your Hand”).
Categories
The Queen of Hearts
There once was a Queen of Hearts,
Who had married the King of the Farts,
The paparazzi found,
She was sleeping around,
So they called her the Queen of the Tarts.
Who had married the King of the Farts,
The paparazzi found,
She was sleeping around,
So they called her the Queen of the Tarts.
2010 seems as if it will be fun,
As so far there’s been plenty of sun,
I hope in a way,
That this weather will stay,
Till Christmas when it can snow by the ton.
As so far there’s been plenty of sun,
I hope in a way,
That this weather will stay,
Till Christmas when it can snow by the ton.
Categories
Racey Pacey (and Spacey) Tracey
There once was a young lady called Tracey,
Who people thought was trendy and racey,
She has few cares,
Till she fell down the stairs,
Which will learn* her to be far too pacey.
Who people thought was trendy and racey,
She has few cares,
Till she fell down the stairs,
Which will learn* her to be far too pacey.
(*For language pedants replace with teach)
Categories
World Cup Willies
Its time again for expectations to rise,
As we hope England will win the first prize,
But we really know,
Out on penalties we’ll go,
As way over the crossbar one flies.
As we hope England will win the first prize,
But we really know,
Out on penalties we’ll go,
As way over the crossbar one flies.
[June 2010 update : england went for the just play utter shite option instead!]
Categories
Amphibian Friends
There once was a mexican frog,
Who lived in a nice hollow log,
His friend Axolotl,
Lived in a bottle,
And they had fun playing around in their bog.
Categories
Dan’s Birthday
There once was a fake yank called Dan, Who was pizzas number one fan, He goes early to bed, Beer goes straight to his head, So be careful today you old man.
Categories
Homophonic Sheep
There once was a fluffy old ewe,
Who didn’t eat grass under a yew,
She said to her son,
It does not get much sun,
And is not quite as nutritious for you.
Categories
Homophonic Theatre Limerick
The theatre was full of beer scents,
And drunk actors were not making sense,
The audience smelt booze,
Hence the actors got boos,
The tickets werent worth more than 2 cents.