There was a lady who made people sore, As around her they did more and more, And all the while, She’d just sit and smile, That lazy manipulative whore.
Categories
Category: New Year Resolutions 2010
Categories
Modern Medusa
There once was a medusa who could, Turn a man into stone where he stood,
Nowadays cameras, When pointed at actors, Can turn some of them into wood.
There will come a time soon I think when, Some will take pity on us nagged ones and then, Some kind beings benign, Who will treat us quite fine, Will come to Earth and rescue all of the men. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then ladies will have to open their own jars, As we have fun up amongst all the stars, You’ll be forgotten, Missing us something rotten, And you’ll then have to then park your own cars.
Categories
If Edward Lear had written Sonnets…
Instead of…
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said ‘It is just as I feared! –
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!’
Maybe He would have wrote…
There was a Man with a very long beard, That grew not only long but ever so bushy Who said “It’s dreadful and just as I feared! –
My life is so annoying and not at all cushy Two Tawny Owls and a Speckled Red Hen, Nine Black Head Gulls and six little Sparrows
Four noisy Larks and a sweet little Wren, Eight Canadian Geese and two tiny Swallows And finallly a coinfident red chested robin
Have all come to stay and all built their nests In my beard causing my chin to be throbbin’ They are really nasty annoying pests So I will at last let my beard be shorn Will sleep much better when its quiet at dawn“
Which leads me to conclude…
There was an old man called Lear Whose limericks some people hold dear
In the form of a sonnet The extra lines on it Would make the rhyme sound somewhat queer
Categories
Taunton and Somerset People
There was a young man from Taunton, Who was clever and witty and fun, Thats what you get, In green Somerset, Inspiration within everyone.
So again it is Grand National day, Soon the horses will be on their way, Many will falter, On the jumps and the water, And gamblers will lose half their pay.
Categories
The Beatles, a scientific critique
Sung four young men from liverpool, “All you need is love” and they were cool, But there again,
Forgetting oxygen, Would only be done by a fool.
In Toy Town there are many trees, Its spring but they still have no leaves, When I’m out for a walk, If to these plants I would talk, I’d tell them to grow green shoots please.
Categories
The Dodgy Smell at the Cricket
The Trescothick stand can sometimes be whiffy, So sitting there is somewhat iffy, But its a good view of the cricket, Watching us take a wicket, And cheering on someone called Stiffy.
Categories
My first trip to a 21st century doctor
Since the nineties I haven’t seen my GP, And my doctor has not looked at me, But today I felt ill, So needed a pill, To help my tender and sick left kidney.