Its my annual rant about the Oscars, its not news, its probably about as corrupt as FIFA world cup decisions and I can make my own mind up about what is a good film. And the statue really doesn’t look all that good.
Its the time for award ceremonies
So that actors can be pompous with ease
As everyone they thank
Who created their celluloid wank
That’s schmoozed best in their attempt to please
The upstairs toilet leaked from a crossthread,
Which meant long trips at night for me from my bed,
But its a better summer,
After out came a plumber,
And our life is now better it must be said.
I have been known to indulge in a bit of cat sitting, it enables me to get away from the hectic world of my house and get on and produce the odd cheeky doodle. I then can maybe feed the cat when necessary. So here is a behind the scenes look at me working on one…
I find drawing in between the paws works wellAlfonso casts his critical eye over the work
I was so pleased to be able to demonstrate at last the art of mathematical modelling, and thanks to receiving this from www.selfexamdoodles.com (artist Claire Pitt – every Friday one lucky facebook fan wins a doodle) I think everyone can appreciate a mathematical model.
Incidently after phoning the model I now know her name is Zeta…
Anyway, its an excellent site and so well worth plugging…
FE college staff have been informed that we must pay £68 for some sort of protection racket called the IFL. When pay freezes are the norm this group of clowns think that they should charge £68 up from £30. Benefits to us include a dull email newsletter and the fact we are forced to email them the hours CPD we do each year…
If anything seemed like a joke this is it
As a letter from these guys made me throw a fit
I could not believe my eyes
They want a 126% rise
But worse they claim for me that there is some benefit
Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer will pay his £68, will send in his CPD evidence on time but only for a cut of the profits...
There once was a feisty young cat
Who exercised and strengthened so that
He was faster than most
And silent as a ghost
So he could disembowel a passing rat
Alfonso has learnt the ways of the Ninja
As it is nearly V-day here is a romantic little poem inspired by the fact sticklebacks can change sex…
John and Freda were a stickleback pair
Who at first felt a great deal of lust
So their lives they decided to share
As in each other they found that they could trust
~
The lust waned after year four
And life together started to drag
John was becoming a bore
And Freda would consistently nag
~
But stickleback males can change
If they want nagging to stop
They turn female, to them its not strange
So John became Joanne without even a chop
~
So then Joanna and Freda were fine
And life was great and they gave not a toss
As they met for a glass of white wine
And had hours of fine girlie goss
~
But there was a thing in life that they did miss
And that was the company of a male
A hug, a cuddle and a passionate kiss
So they had a solution that could not fail
~
So Freda decided she would become Fred
And together the two fish would cavort
Until eventually the sticklebacks wed
(This despite Freds obsession with farting and sport)
~
Joanne wished she shared Freds obsession too
But she preferred instead to go to the shop
Fred said “I wish I could chat sport with you”
So Johanna became John and got a replica top
~
So they both enjoyed watching the water polo
For a while until their loins filled with sexual need
They did not want to fulfill their needs solo
So Fred became Freda so they could do the deed
~
So what sex they are now is anyones guess
As they change to whatever they feel best
But far from thier lives being a mess
Life is always new and they feel blessed
