Author: mc

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Limerick New Year Resolutions 2010

Limerick

I wrote this while at a village fete celebrating the royal occasion, with a real ale in my hand, morris dancers doing whatever they do (not convinced it is dancing) and locals charming worms out of the ground.

So Wills and Kate have now tied the knot
And for the day off I’ll say thanks a lot
It may just be me
but I avoided tv
Except to notice Pippa M looked rather hot
~
What could be better than a Kate and Will to colour?
Maybe a coloured one (but try to stay within the lines!)
Categories
New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

April’s Hybrid

It is a bit late due to never being in the same room as the scanner. In fact for a while I thought the Easter Chinny and the scanner might be one in the same thing (like superman, is it a panini toaster, is it a trouserpress, no its scanner rabbit/chick thing…)

Anyway even though Easter is a distant memory here is the Easter Bunny and Easter Chicks cute little bundle of joy.

This little cute thing will warm your heart as it pumps your veins with pure chocolate.
Categories
Doodles

Source Code…(review by Lorem Ipsum)

Lorem Ipsum
Lorem Ipsum esq.

A marvellous film about how to get rid of a silly boring history teacher and replace him with a brave helicopter pilot. I am hoping to patent the method myself and find ways of replacing geography teachers with navy captains and P.E. teachers with marines.

In Source Code everyone on a train (including a terrorist) survive in an alternate universe except the poor history teacher who has his body snatched.
Categories
New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

More Dog Fish Capers

Who would have thought it? After another morning at the Mathematical Association’s annual conference I found out that as well as their place in chaos theory (see The Dog Fish and Chaos Theory) apparantly some breeds of dogfish can swim in tessellating shoals…

A shoal of a merman's best friend seen just outside Atlantis
Categories
Doodles

dinner art

The Mathematical Association Annual dinner is a great place to vomit out art onto a napkin…

Dont mess with the chicken that works in a factory (she is one butch hen)

~

A cross between a panthar and a snake, and also proof that being an egg head is not necessarily a good thing...

~

And here is Mr Big, star of Frogs in The City

And finally some advice to all the mathematicians out there…

Sound advice...
Categories
New Year Resolutions 2011 Sonnets

The Paper Bath Mat

Is there nothing paper cannot achieve? i would never have thought of using it to make bath mats out of, its enough to drive one to poetic thoughts…

This paper bath mat even shows you where to put your feet. 21st century living at its best.
In my room ensuite there’s a thing that I see
Its an oblong disposable paper bath mat
Printed on it are feet bigger than me
Feet that size belong on one taller and fat
At least the mats not just a special towel
And no scabby dirty feet have used this before
Getting a veruka can be terribly foul
So well done mat for preventing a foot sore
Its made of an odd sort of material
And is not soft like the one at home used
The paper may not be sustainable
Is it superior or not, I am confused
But at this time it does fill a great need
The floor has no puddles – success indeed!
Categories
New Year Resolutions 2011 Unusual Hybrids

The Dog Fish – And Chaos Theory

Is it a fish or is it a dog, is it a fishdog? No its a dogfish. Some crazy people think dogfish are a type of shark but I think it is a close cousin of a beagle…

It is said that if a dogfish wags his tail in the South China Sea it can cause good surfing in Newquay. This is a known as the Dogfish Effect and is a key concept in Chaos Theory.

Get the surfboards out, this is one happy fish...
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Uncategorized

Keep Rich and Bountiful

I decided that the song “Keep young and beautiful” was a bit shallow and thought anyone can come up with a shallow song about love…

What’s cute about little cutie
It’s his cash, not brains
Old father time will never harm you
If your money still remains
After you grow old, man
~
Keep rich and bountiful
It’s your duty to be bountiful
Keep rich and bountiful
If you want to be loved
~
If you’re wise exploit all the masses
Take their cash, off of him, off of her
When you’re seen anywhere
Show your platinum card off
Wave wads of cash in the air
~
Money is better than all your charms
Be rich and always be in someone’s arms
Keep rich and bountiful
If you want to be loved
~
forget the teeth we all know what you ladies love...

~

Incidently for a real video nasty check this out…

Categories
New Year Resolutions 2011 Sonnets

Stairs

You can go up them and down them, how amazing is that?

Stairs…

Oh glorious thing that is the flight of Stairs
A method of getting higher by your feet
Lifts can get stuck and a person their odour shares
So the reliable method of ascent isn’t beat.
So be happy and rejoice when it’s time to ascend
Be ecstatic and merry afterwards when you go down
It is joyous whether going up or descend
Especially after getting ready to hit the town.
But it has to be said that some stairs go too high
And accidents occur on them when you have to shift
And stairs get harder to manage as time goes by
And you then have to invest in a Stannah Stair lift.
But without more storeys more space we’ll take
Without stairs man  will spread out like a pancake.
~
Building a stairway to heaven but giving up after 5 steps may look like this and make a far better song too.
Categories
Limerick

Platelets

There are things that help the blood to clot
And you should have of these quite a lot
So have some of mine
Then you’ll be fine
If a low platelet count you have got

And get well soon Y!