Categories
Limerick

Facebook

I thought, “If only life was a bit more like wastebook”,
So I decided to give this idea a quick look,
But when I gave a girl a poke,
Her boyfriend did choke,
And he caught me with a hefty right hook.
~
man poking lady
What you do in facebook should probably stay on facebook.
Categories
Lessons

Lessons for a wetter July week (19th – 25th July)

Monday

Marmite is named after the type of french cooking pot which appears on the label.

Tuesday

10th of October is metric day. Wonder if Clintons will make cards for it…

Wednesday

Lattice multiplication has been about in Europe since the 13th century.

Thursday

India recently approved a new symbol for the rupee after a nationwide competition. 

Friday

I learnt a neat trick for sketching cartoons using a blue pencil and GIMP

http://www.georgetoon.com/blog/blue/

Saturday

UK postcodes in the second group of letters exclude the letters CIKMOV as they may be confused with other numbers or letters.

Sunday

Rabbits do not vomit, they are incapable of it. Cecotropes is the name given to the produce of their anus that they eat to give food a second go through their digestive system.

Categories
Limerick

How To Look Good Naked (Channel 4) – TV Review

When ladies used to be on television nude,
It was considered both sexist and rude,
But its no longer titilation,
As its now liberation,
So join Gok Wan if you’re in the mood.
Categories
Grumpy Parrot Limerick

Revenge is a dish served cold, but even better by someone else :-)

It is a lot of effort getting revenge, and can leave you bitter and twisted. Also you may wonder if really you should have done what you did. How refreshing it is though when you find out life or someone else has done the dirty deed for you and it was nothing you did…

Revenge without guilt is a pleasure,
One that is quite hard to measure,
To see their burst bubble,
As they run into trouble,
Is one experience you just have to treasure.
~

The downside is that you may feel guilty for feeling happy. The solution to this is to just stop feeling guilty, open a can of beer, relax and again enjoy the moment…

Harry the grumpy parrot
Harry the grumpy parrot

Harry the grumpy parrot says “I wouldn’t feel guilty, serves them right”

Categories
Limerick

Probably The Ultimate Feeling

In my mind there is a bit of a fight,
Deciding the best of flavours that delight,
After a quick test,
I think that the best,
Is the combination of cheese and marmite.
Categories
Limerick

The Equal Best Feeling In The World

An opportunity that I should always seize,
Is to taste a lovely cheddar cheese,
I think the best yet,
Comes from Somerset,
Its taste always will be able to please.
Categories
Limerick

The Best Feeling In The World

Some pleasures on reflection are slight,
But there is one thing that causes delight,
And that is to lob,
Into my gob,
Some toast spread thickly with marmite.*
~
(*an edible yeast extract with the visual properties of an industrial lubricant – Bill Bryson)
Categories
Kebabs Limerick

The Elephant Leg Contribution to UK Binge Drinking Culture

There once was a doner kebab,
A sort of huge gross greasy meaty slab,
Slices in pitta bread,
It has to be said,
Could make you vom when you get in the cab.



Categories
Lessons

First Week of 6 Weeks of Lazy Summer Lessons (12th – 18th)

So I am having that 6 weeks off that those lucky teachers get. Have found I learn less when I am having a lazy time, but still something new every day…

Monday

The sound of the star wars doors opening was actually some paper being slid from an envelope.

Tuesday

it costs £10.40 for an off peak day return from Taunton to Bristol.

Wednesday

S4C sometimes show Glamorgan twenty20 cricket matches.

Thursday

Michael Jackson’s favourite song was “smile” by Charlie Chaplin

Friday

There is no butter in peanut butter. There are peanuts though.

Saturday

Pandas have a digestive tract more suitable for meat eating, and will actually eat meat if offered.

Sunday

Eric Cartman’s middle name is Theodore. Something I had not noticed until today, probably ignored it.

Categories
Limerick

A-E of things I would not eat (meat version)

Anteaters I dont think would be nice,
Bats also even if served with rice,
Cats i won’t eat for lunch,
Dogs are not what i’ll munch,
Earwigs? I would rather eat mice.