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Bird brains
Author: mc
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Fridges
There once was a fridge tall and white And inside was a magnificent sight Amongst egg milk and juice There was a canadian goose Feasting merrily on Muller Light ~
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Britains Got No Variety Beerogram
Here is the line up for Britains Got Talent…
1. A boy who sings
2. A scottish man who sings
3. A man who can sound like other people
4. A boy who dances
5. Four more boys who sing
6. A mad woman on an organ
7. A young lad on a piano
8. An old man who dances
9. A young man who dances
10. Someone who can sing even though he lives in a caravan – surely not possible is it something from the devil? (At least he can play the guitar as well)
in beerogram terms:
Dancing 
Keyboards
Other
At the moment in my pocket there are 5 objects. hence BGT versus things in my pocket to see what has the most variety…
BGT 
my left trouser pocket
Conclusion : there is more variety in my left pocket than in this years final of Britains Got Talent
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Justin Boobier
I am sure this is the next teenage sensation. He has the biggest moobs of any teenage boy and I am sure he will get the teenage girls’ hearts racing…
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The FIFA “family”
It seems as if I will not be flying emirates, drinking coca cola, buying addidas products, Macdonalds nor EA games…
Congratualtions to the hotbeds of football Haiti, Congo, Benin, Cyprus and Fiji for rushing to Sepp Blatter’s support today. After all the FIFA family is a very delicate and precious flower and we would hate football to ruin it all for them…
So that hotbed of football cyprus Backs Blatter and asks what’s the fuss? Whats a bribe here or there Why should we care As long as a few quid can be thrown at us ~ Grondona* asked for Falklands for his vote Which as far as bribes go is one of note Maybe give us back football Then give us a call Your association with FIFA is no reason to gloat ~ So well done Fiji, Haiti, Congo, Benin For propping up a footballs version of Lenin So while the FIFA’s inbred family Back pat, and backhand happily The true football family must consign them to the bin _____________________________________________________________________________Another example of what a quality human being and fantastic FIFA family member Julio Grondona is can be found from the following quote…
‘I do not believe a Jew can ever be a referee at that level (Argentine Premier League) because it’s hard work and, you know, Jews don’t like hard work.’FIFA senior vice-president and chair of Finance Committee, Julio Grondona, 5 July 2003. Buenos Aires
Maybe disaster for the great Danish people…marmite could be banned
Its against civil liberties to ban marmite But Denmark may consider such action right We would not ban bacon rashers So don’t be marmite bashers The lovers of the stuff know how to fight!see also…To my friend
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Keyboards v Pens
The pen is mightier than the sword, but who wins out of a keyboard and a pen? Maybe computer keyboard beats pen (due to autocorrect). Pen beats sword (somehow). Sword beats keyboard (chops power cable to pc). A sort of duller office version of rock, scissors, paper…
Most things I write I have decided to type It’s a more correctable medium than is the Pen It’s one of the ways I can talk via Skype Tho a mic and a cam I’ll use now and then But I have noticed I’ve a faded key A And the same fate has befallen the N Tho Q looks as new as on its first day Seems some keys need better labels then Such issues are not the case with pen and ink And folk do like getting hand written mail Easier on the eye than times roman I Think And the postman really does not often fail So to ditch the pen would be quite absurd Even when I write much in Microsoft Word
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Mark
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cheese shop…
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Two-Faced Book
I have come up with a far more honest Social network. It is well known that everyone says nice things to each other before bitching continuously behind everyones back as soon as they are not around. I have come up with 2 facedbook. All comments on a persons wall are nice kind and sweet, for instance this is my wall…
So I get to love all these lovely comments, however everyone really just wants to slag me off behind my back so this is what everyone else sees when they log on…
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The Dell Boot Menu
I decided after months of ignoring the startup screen on my laptop that I would press F12 and see what the boot menu did and I was faced with this screen…
