Mike's World (brain farts and other adventures)Rabbits are famous for their speed and mating ability. Although a legless version is not as quick, luckily carrots have not yet evolved legs and legless does cannot get away from bucks so quickly. These animals are remarkably lucky despite their lack of paws (after all since when has a lucky paw ever been lucky for the rabbit it was cut from?)
If sharks can come in tiger varieties it is only right that snakes do too. It is thought that Tiger snakes live in Australia (see http://www.australianfauna.com/tigersnake.php). However tigers tend to live in India so I think the Australian idea is a bit unlikely…
Things that make people so angry they sit around and moan but do not actually do anything are like a red rag to a legless bull. These are magnificent creatures and easy to run away from if used in some sort of running of the bulls festival.
He has been a ninja, and a jedi. Now Alfonso has taken up scary staring, or hypnosis as it is sometimes called…
It has been a while coming due to the distance from where the computer lives and the neares scanner (over 10 metres). However here is a rat that without legs has managed to get round the maze and get to its cheese…
Legless pigs evolved as a result of mans desire for ham. As ham is so tasty pigs with smaller legs survived and passed their genes onto the next generation until a breed of pig evolved that could not be used for ham.
It is well known in the civilised world that you should let people get off a train before you get on. This system works particularly well on the London Underground in the main.
In Shanghai as far as I can see it is considered impolite to leave a metro, how dare you not want to stay on the glorious fast expanding modern metro system. It is for this reason that no one under any circumstances will let anyone get off the metro.
Dogs with no noses are famous for their comedy value. Less well known is the following joke:
Man* 1:My dog rolls around in stinking refuse
Man 2: How does he smell
Man 1: With his nose
Incidentally the “no nose joke” was the most popular out of a range of unfunny jokes such as:
Man 1: My dog has no liver
Man 2: how does he detoxify his blood and synthesise proteins?
Man 1: Badly
And the one most relevant to snake like dogs…
Man 1: My dog has no legs
Man 2: How does he run?
Man 1: Awfully
These dogs can be easily trained, but they take the command “heel” to be a bit insensitive.
(* Women would not waste their time with crap jokes**)
(** Not when there are jobs around the house to do)
Being legless it wakes you up every morning but there is little point trying to chase it away.
At times Shanghai sounds a bit like entertainment from the late 70s early 80s, in particular Bob Carolgees and Spit the Dog.
There is a good reason for this… Internal moisture harbours all sorts of germs. So in China feel free to spit out any moisture phlegm and anything else you can to keep your insides clear and the germs in the outside world where they can run free.
