Mike's World (brain farts and other adventures)
Last year I compared the variety in my left pocket to the Britains Got Talent final and found my left pocket had more variety (see Britains Got No Variety Beerogram ).
This year unfortunately my left trouser pocket has money, keys, card, season ticket.
7 Singing Acts
1 Swimming Act
1 dog Act
2 dancing Acts (although the dog act is dancing as could be argued is the swimming act)
So a 5-4 or 5-2 win for my left trouser pocket in the what has more variety competition 2012.
The FA Cup final kick off was even more annoying for those of us watching from Shanghai, especially as beer drinking started at 3pm Local time (over 9 hours till kick off). I have often thought that ideas I come up with while having beers are among my best but I keep forgetting them before the morning after hangover. On FA Cup Saturday I decided to record ideas I had (each one represents an extra one or two beers)…
Idea 1 : What does a Foxy Lady really look like?
2. Are birds as good at dancing as they claim to be?
3. How can you tell the sex of a fish?
4. As pleasant as the sight of a full beer glass is it is all about context, and somewhere else it may not be as attractive
5. Shanghai would have made a great setting for King Kong
6. Are there such things as squirrel vampires?
So obviously I do not have good world changing ideas whilst drinking…
It was claimed that you cannot get better than a Kwik Fit Fitter (by Kwik Fit of course). I decided to put this to the test by putting a Kwik Fit Fitter against a Cheetah in a 100m dash. Unfortunately it turns out that he is no better than the tiger who was entered alongside him in the heats…
Although the Union Flag flies on the Falkland Islands, and quite right too, it has to be said that Argentina do like to use the Falklands as a diplomatic football. If self-determination and history do count for nothing meaning Argentina do ever get sovereignty over those who are descended from original settlers and the indigenous population (the penguins) I would suggest that this could be a good flag design…
If you are the type of person with a small pointy beard, you often walk up mountains, you are also incredibly horny it is likely you were born in the Chinese year of the goat…
People born in the year of the horse tend to be whipped a lot, wear leather harnesses, go on all fours and let people ride them.
Its that most wonderful time of year again, maybe this year I will have some with Duck…
To be fair it is easy to criticise and make fun of all the rubbish that Sean Pen has written but he did write a very good article about milk and one about a mystic river. So of course who better to write good sense about things he probably knows nothing about…
Anyway Sean is against anything that could be an “archaic commitment to colonialist ideology” and so urges Argentina to leave the land they colonised in the 16th century.
People born in the year following the year of the dragon are born in the year of the snake. Characteristics of such people are that they crawl around on their bellies and speak with a forked tongue (but contrary to popular belief they are not slimy).
There are many things that are coming soon
Like the warmer days and the next full moon
Valentines is on its way
But more important
is pancake day…
So don’t forget to fire up the pan
Mix the eggs, get lemon
and sugar if you can
For you will unltimately regret
If Pancake Day is a Tuesday
you forget!